All The Mad S*** That Went Down In Game Of Thrones S08E04 ⚔
It’s that time of the week again where we give you the lowdown on alllllll that mutha-of-dragons s*** that went down in the latest episode of Game of Thrones.
So, we’ve just had the big old Battle of Winterfell and people are DED. The episode starts off by burning all of ‘em. Savage.
No time to mourn though there are dranks to be had. 🍷 Dany anoints Gendry the Lord of Storm’s End - hooray. This obviously means he needs to ask Arya, the absolute badass hero who killed the Night King, to be his Lady. Ha. K. It’s a no from me.
Back to the drinking. A few of the lads are playing never have I ever and oh boy it is a fun time for all. Until Tyrion calls out Brienne for being a virgin and she gets up to leave because wtf Tyrion y u like this? But it’s ok here’s Jaime to save the day by awkwardly fumbling around trying to take his clothes off with one hand. Now, THAT is how you get the ladies.
Jon and Dany are still feeling that weird awkwardness when you’re making out with your Aunt (we’ve all been there) and she’s pretty pissed off that Jon might tell people he’s the rightful heir to the throne.
Ah we all forgot, there’s actually another battle that needs to happen - The last war. Dany wants that to happen right now because she really wants that Iron Throne, but Sansa is all “come onnnn let them have a nap first.” But Dany is having none of it and Jon is keen to show her that he’s still bending the knee, so he’s sucking up to his Queen big time.
Sansa and Arya aren’t too happy about Jon being a lil butt kisser, so they take him aside to say hey man we’re family, maybe start acting like it eh? But he’s all yeah but I’m actually not though. Tell ‘em Bran.
So, Dany and a fleet are on their way to have a chat with Cersei, but then Euron Greyjoy has got a big old crossbow that fires big old dragon killing spikes into the air.
DEATH: ONE DRAGON
Euron’s fleet attacks our guys and they all end up swimming onto the nearby beach. Well, all minus anybody who dies and Missandei.
Little slimeball Euron skips back to Cersei to tell her what’s happened and she tells him she’s got a EurBun in the oven. Cute, happy families.
Speaking of family, Jaime is about to sneak off in the middle of the night leaving his knight in bed. She finds him ready to leave and he goes running back to his sister.
Back in King’s Landing Cersei and Daenerys are facing off… Well, they’re standing well away from each other and letting their Hands do the talking. Missandei is in shackles and Tyrion tries to reason with Cersei to stand down without a fight. Umm no. That’s when Missandei’s head gets the rest of the day off.